It is midnight and there is a little boy at the end of my bed holding a $10 bill.
Thor "Mommy, mommy the tooth fairy came, I did not see her but I woke up and found this!" waving his bill around.
Me "Awe baby I am happy for you, you did not see her?"
Thor "No mommy I didn't but I think the cat did."
Me "ok why do you think the cat did? "
Thor "cause he is so sneaky and watching." My thoughts yep the kitties are definitely watching everything, sneaky little bastards.
Thor "so lets talk about what I am going to do with this money"
Me "ok in the morning!"
Thor "I can't wait to spend my money!"
Such happiness in his eyes and joy in his heart it helped me put a smile on my face this am.
After watching the way children are so mean and hateful to each other they steal each others sparkle and joy. The boy reminded me
its there just under a protective shell. Try and love someone today, share your joy and happiness everyone needs a smile, a hug and love.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Reflection.......Bella Dancerella
I found this post from many moons ago. I decided to post it as I reflect on my life and how quickly everyone is growing and changing. Life goes by in a flash, somedays you can't wait to get to that glass of wine and bed other you pray you can hold the sunsetting for hours.
Today my daughter Alexis got a toy called Bella Dancerella. This is the most annoying video I have ever seen. The one video has this scary money tap dancing and this creepy girl with braces and an Australian accent, my husband and I sat in astonishment as my daughter followed this crazy girl's every dance instruction.
As she danced away there was one part she got lost in so I got up and tried to help her she said "no no mommy you are not a Ballerina." Ok my little diva and knows what she wants. This reminds of the other day when we went to Saks which is a place we go often and Alexis held I guess what you would call court. She had her crown on and a microphone in hand. As I collected my purchases she had Will and the girls behind the makeup counter singing. She had to make sure there was at least four people singing, everyone had to start at the same time and if you got caught not singing she stopped everyone and scolded you for not singing.
What an amazing little girl she knows what she wants.
Today my daughter Alexis got a toy called Bella Dancerella. This is the most annoying video I have ever seen. The one video has this scary money tap dancing and this creepy girl with braces and an Australian accent, my husband and I sat in astonishment as my daughter followed this crazy girl's every dance instruction.
As she danced away there was one part she got lost in so I got up and tried to help her she said "no no mommy you are not a Ballerina." Ok my little diva and knows what she wants. This reminds of the other day when we went to Saks which is a place we go often and Alexis held I guess what you would call court. She had her crown on and a microphone in hand. As I collected my purchases she had Will and the girls behind the makeup counter singing. She had to make sure there was at least four people singing, everyone had to start at the same time and if you got caught not singing she stopped everyone and scolded you for not singing.
What an amazing little girl she knows what she wants.
Friday, November 20, 2015
Today
For so long I obsessed and loved writing this blog, but one day the creativity, humor in me just seemed to halt dry up to seem unavailable. I don't know where it went but I am on a road to recovering that state of mind, I am going to just write. I am not saying it will be funny or witty but i have to start somewhere.
So today I reflect on my day. My oldest daughter is struggling in middle school, it is hard, the kids are mean and they are all struggling to fit in. I realize finding your way is hard. They have to grow, change and adapt so they can find who they are supposed to be. This is a hard road. Children will use the bones of the other children to sharpen their teeth, that will allow them to one day stand up to their parents and withstand the rigors of society but at some point someone needs to be held accountable. This is all a growing process but when does it go too far, when grades are dropping, illness is setting in, it is time for the adults to step in and manage their behavior. As a parent of three, semi-adult and concerned citizen of this world, I am worried for all of us, for them and for society.
Why are we breeding monsters, bullies, terrorists and killers? What are we doing wrong as parents, people as a society as a whole? My heart breaks that this is the world our children have to grow up in.
My stomach is in knots as she boards the bus
Will today be the day that breaks her
When will the heart breaking text come in with the voice taunting her
How do I tell her it them not you don't listen as the chants get louder, how
Then it happens BING "mommy did i look ugly this morning he says my face is red, mommy please"
Bing his voice says "look at her look at her, she wears too much makeup, she must be ugly underneath"
My stomach lurches the bile reaches my throat, then I think what must her little body be doing?
Then she is at school no contact no call the silence is deafening, I want to protect her, save her, hold her
Bing.........
So today I reflect on my day. My oldest daughter is struggling in middle school, it is hard, the kids are mean and they are all struggling to fit in. I realize finding your way is hard. They have to grow, change and adapt so they can find who they are supposed to be. This is a hard road. Children will use the bones of the other children to sharpen their teeth, that will allow them to one day stand up to their parents and withstand the rigors of society but at some point someone needs to be held accountable. This is all a growing process but when does it go too far, when grades are dropping, illness is setting in, it is time for the adults to step in and manage their behavior. As a parent of three, semi-adult and concerned citizen of this world, I am worried for all of us, for them and for society.
Why are we breeding monsters, bullies, terrorists and killers? What are we doing wrong as parents, people as a society as a whole? My heart breaks that this is the world our children have to grow up in.
My stomach is in knots as she boards the bus
Will today be the day that breaks her
When will the heart breaking text come in with the voice taunting her
How do I tell her it them not you don't listen as the chants get louder, how
Then it happens BING "mommy did i look ugly this morning he says my face is red, mommy please"
Bing his voice says "look at her look at her, she wears too much makeup, she must be ugly underneath"
My stomach lurches the bile reaches my throat, then I think what must her little body be doing?
Then she is at school no contact no call the silence is deafening, I want to protect her, save her, hold her
Bing.........
Monday, November 2, 2015
Woke up with these verses in my mind had to write
The memory is vivid
the sad vision passes in my eyes
the prick, the a scratch, the cut
the blood drips, pools, slows
just as the pain recedes the memory fades
all that is left is the stain
BY Kirsten Sutherlin
the sad vision passes in my eyes
the prick, the a scratch, the cut
the blood drips, pools, slows
just as the pain recedes the memory fades
all that is left is the stain
BY Kirsten Sutherlin
Monday, April 28, 2014
100 days of happiness
Today my girlfriend and I started 100 days of happiness. Each day you take a picture of something that makes you happy. Not many people finish this challenge, they get too busy, forget or just don't see the importance. How can we be too busy to take a minute and just capture one second of happiness in your day. I have many moments of happiness in a day but I feel like I miss many of them in how hectic my life gets. The homework that in making me re learn math, the crying boy because he is not getting his way, the carpools to get everyone to 30million activities they want to do and my job of being a short order cook that is an all day job.
So here is my day 1 of 100 hopefully I won't get too distracted, busy or just forget to take a moment to reflect on my happiness.
So here is my day 1 of 100 hopefully I won't get too distracted, busy or just forget to take a moment to reflect on my happiness.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Saturday, December 28, 2013
I am having a serious stroke. As I callously deleted what I thought was just drafts were actual posts. I am so sad to have lost those post they were a poem to my children, an account off children's changing stages and the writing that I so crave. I am sad and disheartened but I will finish the reason I came
On this blog today to pay respect to and remind myself to never take advantage of friends, family and true partners.
As the sun rose today I thought of you.
Your warmth your touch your kindness
The ability you have with a glance to make me feel new
With one look you slow my hamster wheel madness
As I sit alone I long of your healing touch
You look past my flaws and love me more
I am going to seize this moment and release my crutch
I will prove to you that I love you to my core
We are soul mates
God made me perfect for you
This love we have is all about fate
I will always be true
On this blog today to pay respect to and remind myself to never take advantage of friends, family and true partners.
As the sun rose today I thought of you.
Your warmth your touch your kindness
The ability you have with a glance to make me feel new
With one look you slow my hamster wheel madness
As I sit alone I long of your healing touch
You look past my flaws and love me more
I am going to seize this moment and release my crutch
I will prove to you that I love you to my core
We are soul mates
God made me perfect for you
This love we have is all about fate
I will always be true
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Two Left Feet
This weekend is going to be fun. We have dance classes on Friday and a party on Saturday. We are getting a hotel room and are planning a romantic stay over night.
We had a dance class two weeks ago and it was the best date night ever. We learned the Waltz, Jive and Polka. I use the word learn loosely. We laughed, danced and generally had an amazing time.
We first went to dinner, I knew what we were in for so I had two glasses of wine and then took one to go. As we pulled up the dance classes we saw some of the other couples getting out, they were old and total dorks. William got one look and started to beg, what can I buy you not to make me go in there? I said we are going in there tonight but you better think of a great deal since this is one of 5 dance classes we are signed up for. We sat in the parking lot and watched the people, William got more and more worried. When we finally went in he made a bee line to the bathroom and stayed for around ten minutes, I had to bust in the men's bathroom to get him to come out. I was sure he had climbed out the window.
When we finally made it to the dance class, we where the teachers pet, because we were the absolute worst dancers. Oh lordy we both have two left feet and barely any rhythm. Will always tries to say I took Cotillion I know how to dance, but not the way they want us to dance. As he holds me in his arms we teases and joke with may parents who are close behind us. These are the nights I want to remember these are the days when things are hard I want to have come to mind.
We had a dance class two weeks ago and it was the best date night ever. We learned the Waltz, Jive and Polka. I use the word learn loosely. We laughed, danced and generally had an amazing time.
We first went to dinner, I knew what we were in for so I had two glasses of wine and then took one to go. As we pulled up the dance classes we saw some of the other couples getting out, they were old and total dorks. William got one look and started to beg, what can I buy you not to make me go in there? I said we are going in there tonight but you better think of a great deal since this is one of 5 dance classes we are signed up for. We sat in the parking lot and watched the people, William got more and more worried. When we finally went in he made a bee line to the bathroom and stayed for around ten minutes, I had to bust in the men's bathroom to get him to come out. I was sure he had climbed out the window.
When we finally made it to the dance class, we where the teachers pet, because we were the absolute worst dancers. Oh lordy we both have two left feet and barely any rhythm. Will always tries to say I took Cotillion I know how to dance, but not the way they want us to dance. As he holds me in his arms we teases and joke with may parents who are close behind us. These are the nights I want to remember these are the days when things are hard I want to have come to mind.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Best Party Ever
Alexis celebrated her 4th birthday this weekend. We had the best time. It was a princess and pirate party. William and I redid Alexis' bedroom as a surprise it is now a fabulous Saltwater Taffy pink with pink gloss stripes and a Cinderella mural, William did his best artwork ever. She has a new canopy bed, new vanity and so many other fabulous touches. It was a total surprise, so when my parents brought her home after a sleep over with them, Cinderella answered the door and brought her up to the new room and William and I said "SURPRISE" she was so excited.
Then the kids started to show up the girls went wild over Cinderella and Pirate William . The kids came in and there was a table of goodies they got lots of princess and pirate garb also Cinderella and Pirate Will painted faces. The kids played upstairs in Alexis' new room then we had a treasure hunt to the hidden treasure of goodies and tons of candy. Then we ate her special cake, it was so good lots of people had seconds. It was the best party ever.
Then the kids started to show up the girls went wild over Cinderella and Pirate William . The kids came in and there was a table of goodies they got lots of princess and pirate garb also Cinderella and Pirate Will painted faces. The kids played upstairs in Alexis' new room then we had a treasure hunt to the hidden treasure of goodies and tons of candy. Then we ate her special cake, it was so good lots of people had seconds. It was the best party ever.
Happy Birthday My Sweet Baby
4th Birthday How time has flown
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Toys
So the process has begun. I am trying to get everything ready for Alexis' birthday and Christmas and that includes the task of putting together toys. I thought I was doing so well till William came up to help me get together the last of the toys after three hours of slaving, twisting, cursing and even breaking a sweat William came into the room to help me finish one of the final toys I could tell from his face something was not right. "Um Kir, I do not think this is right where are the directions?" he said. I replied "behind you" he looked at the trash box and said "Why would you throw them away" I thought because I thought I had done a great job. As I dug though the box to find all the directions he started to take apart my work. I thought oops at least the girls did not use them before he fixed my handy work. So finally all the toys are together. Phew that was hard.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
GROSSSSS
Ok so the story goes, yesterday around 4:00pm Emme started to get sick and when I mean sick projectile vomiting all over everything within a 1 mile radius. So as Emme and I sat with Alexis for dinner a couple hours later I thought it was over till I sat down with my newly opened Chalk Hill glass of Chardonnay(my favorite) Emme vomiting right into the glass totally took me off guard, are you kidding me anywhere but there. Later that night I went upstairs to find the baby was still extremely sick since it had been going on so long and I had never seen a baby get sick in their bed, off to the hospital we went but with William still at work my poor parents had to come over to the house my mom stayed with Alexis and my dad went with me. I do not know the last time I have even been awake till 12:30am but there we were at St Francis trying to check in as the nurse was sitting behind the glass partition thankfully for her, Emme got sick all over the glass, me and the registration forms lets just say we did not wait very long to get a room. When William finally showed up Emme had finally fallen asleep from the medicine they had given her, he looked at me and said "did you over react?????????" Ah, maybe, but that is not what you say to a mother still covered in throw up, holding her sleeping 18 month old, sitting in a chair since the baby refused to get in the bed because of all the IV attempts, at around 2:30am, you may just be the next person in need of the ER doctor. When we finally got home around 4:00am and after my hot disinfecting shower my head hit the pillow around 5:00am only to pry one eye open to this little voice saying Mommy I am hungry. OK so my response was "Alexis go downstairs get whatever you want and bring it up here" she returned with gingerbread cookies and OJ which she thoroughly enjoyed while watching a movie, while I tried to get a couple hours of sleep.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Life in the party lane
I love a party. I really love having fabulous parties for my girls. December is 20th Alexis' 4th birthday and we are going to have a party so here are the plans I will let you know what all gets done since I always go over board with parties. We are planning a pirate and princess party. First we have Cinderella coming to the party and she is going to paint the girls faces and a pirate to paint the boys faces. We got Cakes by Graham to make her a 3-d crown so it is going to look like you could pick it up and put it on your head. The girls are going to have a choice of a bunch of new princess costume to wear and the boys will have a bunch of pirate garb to pick from then they are going to go on a treasure hunt and the treasure chest is going to be filled with candy. Ok so there are the grandiose plans and this does not include the fact that one of Alexis' birthday presents is William and I are going to redo her room and this is supposed to be a total surprise so we have only two days to get it done. We are going to paint the whole room pink with glossy pink stripes, paint a Disney princesses mural, a new vanity, a new chalk board and a stage with a princess curtain. I am a little concerned that we bit off more than we can chew, finish or even do without killing each other. But I do love parties.
We are expecting snow tomorrow. I am really hoping it happens I love to play in the snow and see the girls sled, make snow angels and snowmen.
We are expecting snow tomorrow. I am really hoping it happens I love to play in the snow and see the girls sled, make snow angels and snowmen.
Monday, November 26, 2007
The Chosen One
OK I no longer want to be the chosen one. Just for a day. I love my girls I do but oh my they want me to do everything for them and I am exhausted!!! Mommy, put me to bed, Mommy hold me, Mommy help me, Mommy Mommy Mommy and I realize I have been really cranky lately I think because of the constant pulling, tugging and demands on all my time.
Well yesterday William said "how does it feel to always be wanted" I replied "It is overwhelming tiring and a little annoying" then I realize he would love the constant attention from the girls but the truth of it is that he is only home for maybe three hours at night so he is right it would be wonderful for that short period of time, but when it is 12 hours a day I am at the end of my rope by bed time.
I talked to my mom and she reminded me "Kirsten when they are 13 they will not even want to be with you" so as Emme refuses to stand on her own to perfectly good feet and Alexis is crying about not wanting Daddy to dress her I try and remember this too shall pass so I need to enjoy it and not be so irritated. I worry it is making me less of a mother, but I guess being aware helps you change, so as of today I am going to Love Being the Chosen One!!!!
It is a lot easier to say because Alexis is off staying with my sister for a few days! I think I really need the break....Yea Auntie Kat
Well yesterday William said "how does it feel to always be wanted" I replied "It is overwhelming tiring and a little annoying" then I realize he would love the constant attention from the girls but the truth of it is that he is only home for maybe three hours at night so he is right it would be wonderful for that short period of time, but when it is 12 hours a day I am at the end of my rope by bed time.
I talked to my mom and she reminded me "Kirsten when they are 13 they will not even want to be with you" so as Emme refuses to stand on her own to perfectly good feet and Alexis is crying about not wanting Daddy to dress her I try and remember this too shall pass so I need to enjoy it and not be so irritated. I worry it is making me less of a mother, but I guess being aware helps you change, so as of today I am going to Love Being the Chosen One!!!!
It is a lot easier to say because Alexis is off staying with my sister for a few days! I think I really need the break....Yea Auntie Kat
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Statement
William told my brother in law Paul, "Beware the Leftwich girls shed more tears from Thanksgiving to New Years Eve than all year around." So pretty much you better do a good job as Santa or you are in trouble!!! My, my, the high expectations we set for our holidays. It is the truth, I do not remember a Christmas that I have not cried, because I was sad it was over too soon, or I was disappointed in others reactions, or I had expected a different gift but this year I am going to try and remember that many people have less and the amazing blessings I have. No matter if I get a EpiLady hair removal system or the perfect Chanel purse, it is still a wonderful holiday. My gift is my wonderful family. I could shed a tear just on that.
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