Playground

Today is a beautiful day and I have promised Alexis after school that we can go to the playground if she will just wear the outfit I picked out. Which is jeans and tennis shoes this is not her preferred outfit she wants to be in her dress with her fancy princess shoes. She agrees but barely, she has on her new Barbie Princess Topia outfit that we got yesterday and that she thinks her teacher need to see it so as I pull off this outfit and replace it with the drab outfit I picked out I make the deal. The playground or bust.

So as I am sitting in the carpool line waiting pick my daughter up I am dreading the idea of going to the playground more and more. My plan is to bribe her with a big girl lunch and a manicure. As I am forming this wonderful plan I see my friend running up beside the cars. I start to roll down my window I look out, she says "you are going to the playground, right? I have packed snacks and drinks." I now feel obligated since I was the one who called her and said we are going to layground after school. I finally get Lexi in the car and all I can hear from the backseat is "Playground, Playground, Playground"

So off we go, playground bound. We are getting out of the car struggling with the stroller and things are falling out of the bottom compartment, I am to pretending not to notice until my daughter screams in horror as the cotton balls she has glued to her St Patty's Day bear blow across the parking lot so now I have to chase down green cotton balls everywhere and all the other trash that tumbled out of the stroller that I had pretended not to notice. Finally after all of that I wrangle he stroller get Emme in and we are on our way across the parking lot to the playground.

I immediately see people are looking at me, I have on my disguise a black hat and my big Gucci sunglasses. I think wow that working out is really paying off I must look really good. So I stand up straighter, suck my tummy in and start to strut. This makes more people stare. I think I must look goooood. Then I look down and realize not only do I look like a woman in the witness protection program but I am wearing my husbands t-shirt. This is not any ordinary t-shirt it is an Obey it says in Big letter OBEY above a Skull and cross bones. Please view the picture to the right it is the actual shirt I was wearing. It is kinda scary but it is has really soft cotton and is lightweight. Oh well I told you I did not fit in.

I hold my head up high and make my way through the clusters of speechless woman stopping mid sentence look at me, but I was so involved in sucking in my stomach, holding my head up and focusing on my friends across the playground, I missed the fact that Alexis is singing, she is singing "to the left to the left all you stuff in the box to the left I don't think you know who I am I am bringing sexy back to diapers" Which is her two favorite song meshed together. Oh have mercy get me to friends Alexis pipes up even louder and is now singing to Emme "you are bringing sexy back to diaper" she says and Emme the baby is shaking her head back and forth we call it the no no no shake. It almost seems like she knows what her sister is singing and is say oh no!!!

I make it to my girlfriends I collapse on the bench beside them and say I think I have cause a stir. Another day in my life. Welcome to Surburbia

Love your accident prone mom
Kirsten